Caring for Yourself While In-between Jobs (Part 2 of 2)

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(continued from Part 1)

Last week, I offered up the concepts of personal Space, Pace & Place to help find inner stability while in-between jobs. In Part 1, I wrote about how my sense of Place was disrupted when my most recent role was eliminated, and I shared some practical tips for rebuilding your Place while looking for your next job. Below, I reflect on my personal Pace and Space, along with ideas for managing your Pace and creating Space. If you read to the bottom, you’ll also find a link to a worksheet you can download to guide your reflections and discussions.

PACE

When I got word of my role being eliminated, my job responsibilities immediately ended. No time was given to wrap up in-progress work or transition anything to anyone else. Everything changed instantly. All of a sudden, the frequent, recurring need to strategize, solve a problem, and deliver each workday disappeared. It was a strange and abrupt halt that I did not welcome. I was accustomed to planning each of my days very carefully to ensure I made Space to take care of myself amidst all of the conversations I was having and the work I was doing throughout the day. Suddenly, everything felt sooooooo… s l o w.

As time passed, if I wasn’t careful, I would find myself taking a long time to get going at the beginning of the day and feeling restless. This, too, was new. Years ago, I had to work really hard to slow myself down and not zip from thing to thing without being fully present. Now, in some ways, it felt like time was in slow motion. To help myself with this Pace disruption, I’ve learned that if I am feeling either extreme - significantly sluggish or severely exhausted from moving too quickly - I need to change something. And the indicator for me is usually my energy.

Practical Tips for Managing Your PACE While in-between Jobs:

  • Listen to your body and your heart just as much as your mind. What are they trying to tell you?

  • Be intentional with how you plan your day, how you start your day, and how you end your day.

  • Schedule yourself with a mixture of experiences that allow you to be extremely present and thoughtful, together with activities that will challenge your brain and body to operate at speed.

  • Take note of patterns of feelings that you’re having over the course of a few days so you can be intentional about how you respond to those feelings.

  • If you’re feeling sluggish or lazy…

    • Be thoughtful about how much time you’re sitting all day. Get up and move. Go for a walk. Exercise.

    • When you’re feeling down or unmotivated, find someone to talk to.

  • If you’re feeling exhausted from doing too much during the day…

    • Take stock of your upcoming schedule. Prioritize. Reschedule where possible.

    • Build in free time between your networking calls and interviews. You don’t need to pack your schedule right now like it might usually be when you’re employed.

    • Make some space for silence.

PHoto by Matt Wexler

SPACE

There is a strong connection between one’s Space, Pace & Place. Given the lonely sense of Place and the requirement to self-dictate my daily Pace, there is more flexibility and choice for what I create Space for in my life.

I recall the realization that freedom without security can be hard to fully appreciate. At first, my brain focused only on the lack of security. This concern is real and is one that each of us in this situation will need to work through. In addition, it is beneficial to make Space to take advantage of the opportunity and flexibility we have while in-between jobs. Now, how do so is a personal choice. I remember being awe of colleagues who went traveling for a couple of months after getting laid off. For a variety of reasons, this was not in the cards for me. Instead, I took some time off and now I continue to intentionally make Space for things on a daily and weekly basis that I couldn’t do if I were employed. For example, in-between networking, applying to jobs, researching companies, and interviewing, I take the occasional nap, make an elaborate lunch at home, visit with people IN REAL LIFE, exercise more regularly, volunteer, explore the town I live in, and spend time outside as much as possible. These things help me stay grounded and healthy. What is something you would benefit from making a little Space for?

No matter how confident you are or how long it takes to land again, getting laid off raises a mixture of emotions. Some days, I feel really motivated and hopeful. On other days, I have a hard time getting off the couch, especially when I get rejected from a job I’ve interviewed for. All of these emotions are normal, expected, and important to make Space for. I remember receiving the advice that I should be positive in all conversations I have while unemployed, even those with close friends and family. This advice was troubling for me. The intention with this advice was that being positive on those informal calls would help me so that I didn’t have to whip myself into a different mindset when I got into an interview. While I appreciate the intention of this advice, there is a lot of risk in not making Space to feel what we’re actually feeling. During this challenging transition period, I found that suppressing my negative emotions just made them fester longer. Instead, it helps more to make Space to really feel what I am feeling, find the right people to talk to about my feelings, and make a conscious choice about how to move forward.

Practical Tips for Creating SPACE While in-between Jobs:

  • Heart

    • Take time to feel what you feel, without judgment. Allow yourself to cry and yell - let it out.

    • Allow yourself to grieve. Be ready for the stages of grief to come and go.

    • Recognize and feel the strong emotions that will arise without succumbing to them or letting them rule you. 

    • Give yourself permission to have a terrible couple of hours or a terrible day. Again, without judgment.

    • Schedule time on your calendar to worry. You may be relieved by how much less time you actually need and how you’re able to move past those worries when you dedicate a little Space for them, uninterrupted.

    • Lean into positive moments to really soak up the benefits.

    • Don’t let negative energy persist for too long. Feel it. Acknowledge it. Use it to strengthen you and move forward.

  • Mind

    • Read. Write. Journal.

    • Practice mindfulness. Meditate.

    • Learn something new.

    • Get an appropriate amount of sleep.

    • Be deliberate when using social media, news, and other inputs that may contain depressing or stress-provoking content.

    • Come to terms with your limiting beliefs and work through them.

    • Put your phone away, especially during activities/times that don’t require it.

    • Get in tune with your daily habits. Which ones are serving you now, and which need to change?

  • Body

    • Connect with your breath.

    • Follow your body’s cues.

    • Move. Exercise.

    • Eat better.

    • Cuddle.

    • Explore your sense of touch in nature.

  • Soul

    • Get outside. Feel the sunshine. 

    • Follow the energy…yours, of others, of the universe around you. What are you being “pulled” toward? The energy you receive matches the energy you emit.

    • Make (more) time for fun and laughter.

    • Create something… build, make crafts, draw, write…

    • Practice gratitude.

    • Be patient with and kind to yourself.

    • Listen to music. Dance!

    • Take time to clean out and organize your personal space(s) at home, especially in the home office.

    • Make some time to do nothing and enjoy it. Being busy does not equate to being productive.

    • Make regular, recurring time for something you love that you didn’t have much time for before.

In Conclusion

While I didn’t choose to be here, I am doing my best to choose my mindset and how I use my time each and every day. We cannot choose what others do to us or how we feel. We can choose, though, how we respond to those actions and feelings. I hope and believe that connecting to your own sense of Space, Pace & Place will help you on your journey to finding your next role, amongst other times in your life.

BONUS: Click here to download an Appreciation & Acknowledgment Guide that you can use for your own self-reflections and conversations with others.

As always, I’d love to hear from you. Please take care of yourself and each other.


Copyright 2023 Matthew J. Wexler All Rights Reserved
All content and views shared here in this blog belong solely to the author and do not represent the perspective of any organization, employer or company.