Caring for Yourself While In-between Jobs (Part 1 of 2)
/My sense of day-to-day Place was abruptly changed for me earlier this year. I didn’t seek it out and I had no control over it. My position was eliminated, along with those of 7K other professionals, as a part of a mass layoff at my most recent company. While I haven’t written about Space, Pace & Place for some time, it continues to be something I anchor to in my life. Most recently, it is a framework that has helped me significantly to build resiliency during this uncertain, in-between time as I explore what might be next for my career.
It is not an easy transition to work through. Given my network and family, I feel extraordinarily grateful and supported through during this challenging time. At the same, I know there are many people out there who feel lost and alone right now. The purpose of this post is to hopefully be of some service to all of those who are out there, in-between jobs.
Brief Overview
I invite you to take a moment to review the model below. When we’re feeling strong in all three areas of Space, Pace & Place, it is likely that the energy we feel and the energy we give to others is very positive. We’re more centered, grounded, and open to others. We feel a sense of fulfillment in our life. The opposite is also often true: if we’ve been rushing around, haven’t carved off time to exercise or eat well, or don’t feel like we belong to a community that matters to us (at home, at work, or virtually), our energy is likely to be depleted, negative, and even off-putting to others. This can have a huge impact on our process of searching for a job. Gaining some awareness of how you’re really doing and why you’re feeling what you’re feeling is necessary in order to progress in a way that is most impactful for YOU and your situation.
PLACE
When my position was eliminated, my sense of Place was flipped upside-down. Instantly, I no longer belonged to this professional community where I had spent almost every weekday for the past two years partnering and collaborating with others. While it wasn’t personal to the company, it certainly felt personal to me and everyone else impacted.
So much of my job these past two years had been about forging strong relationships; with my boss, my direct reports, my team, and the broader group of people I worked with on a daily basis across the company. Within a few days of hearing the fate of my role and my employment, I knew that the hardest change for me was going to be my sense of loss - of not having time with all of these incredible people every week. Now that we no longer had a shared purpose or were meeting regularly, I felt like I was starting to drift away, alone, into the sea, uncertain of where I was heading. Who was I going to spend my days with now while my wife was at work and my kids were at school? I felt like I no longer had any sense of Place as a professional, and I was afraid of losing friendships along the way.
To address this sense of loss, I had to become more intentional about my relationships. Making a point to stay connected to my friends from work - both via phone/video and in-person - has helped me tremendously. In addition, I have reconnected with friends and family members with whom I haven’t spoken for years. This has helped me realize that my employer/place of work is only a piece of my Place. While I haven’t landed yet, the energy I get from spending time with people I care about and who care about me gives me a strong sense of Place that helps me stay positive during this uncertain time.
Practical Tips for Rebuilding Your PLACE while in-between Jobs:
Connect with people who give you energy. Avoid those who drain your energy.
Find ways to be of service to others even while you’re in your own search.
Meet new people. Learn about them.
Be intentional and limit how much time you spend alone. Humans need community to thrive, so build your own distributed community when you’re not anchored to an employer.
Voice how you’re feeling with those whom you trust and who love you.
Get others’ opinions and then establish your own point of view.
Keep talking to people who matter to you from your previous company.
Get coaching from an ICF-certified coach.
Volunteer.
Talk to a therapist.
Spend (extra) time with loved ones. Get regular time with friends and colleagues who will remind you how amazing you are.
Collaborate on something that excites you, even if it might not make you any money.
Seek out time from trusted mentors. Mentor someone else.
Thank people from your past for the inspiration they provided to you years ago.
Be there for others who are going through their own difficult times - with their families, their jobs, their lives. Reach out to them so they know that despite your situation, you’re thinking of them.
Be specific with people about how they can best support you. Find and accept support from others in your situation and provide your support in return.
Bring people together, even virtually, to maintain a sense of community.
Swallow your pride and ask for help, including those whom you haven’t spoken to in a long time.
Limit your expectations of who will be there for you and who will not. You may be pleasantly surprised at how many people and which people are willing to help.
Continued in Part 2
UPDATE: I hope this concept of rebuilding your Place sparks some inspiration for you. Curious about managing your Pace and creating Space while in-between jobs? Part 2 is now available here, where I share more about my experience in addition to more practical tips to help you find inner stability.
In addition, if you’d like to learn more about Space, Pace & Place and apply it to other parts of your life, click here for my previous posts.
As always, I’d love to hear from you. Please take care of yourself and each other.
Copyright 2020 Matthew J. Wexler All Rights ReservedAll content and views shared here in this blog belong solely to the author and do not represent the perspective of any organization, employer or company.