Space, Pace & Place - Part 3: New Year / New Perspective on Power, Sacrifice & Choice

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It's here. We did it. It's 2021. Actually, we're almost a whole month in already. I'm curious - who took the time to look inward before diving into the new year? I'd love to hear what you're appreciating and acknowledging as you've begun 2021.

As most of us are, I am pleased to see 2020 behind us. It's only a one-number difference, but for some reason, that change to 2021 feels better and somehow seems to offer hope. For me and many in my immediate area, the year 2020 ended with the loss of a friend from my local community. He and I had a brief yet meaningful conversation about Space, Pace, and Place about a year ago, when I first published Part 1. As I was reflecting upon that conversation with my friend, I am reminded of the sacrifices we make in our lifetime.

If you look up the word sacrifice, you'll find several definitions, the first of which usually refers to biblical or religious references of slaughtering another living creature as an offering to a God or divine of some sort. Yikes. Another definition that is likely more relevant here is:

sacrifice: to suffer loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy especially for an ideal, belief, or end

Source: Merriam Webster Dictionary

For me, to sacrifice is to give up something that has meaning or value to us in pursuit of something else that matters more. What seems common across the various definitions of sacrifice is that there is a conscious or deliberate act - a choice we make.

As you think about your own Space, Pace, and Place, what choices are you making and for what purpose? To what extent is that sacrifice serving you?

Each of us will experience Space, Pace, and Place uniquely. Oftentimes there is an interdependency across the three elements. For some, one element can support another. For others, there may be a sense of competition between the elements, resulting in the need to have to sacrifice one or two for the sake of another. Regardless of which perspective resonates with you at this moment, you are not alone.

My invitation to you today is to consider, "What if Space, Pace, and Place were sources of power for you to pull from vs. pressures of power over you?"

When I think of reclaiming my own power and choice, lately I have been choosing to make Space for BOTH pain and joy. Just like the Disney-Pixar movie, Inside Out, so creatively articulates, we need to experience our full range of emotions to live our fullest life.

image source: Inside out, disney-Pixar via pixartimes.com

image source: Inside out, disney-Pixar via pixartimes.com

This mindset helps me choose to not only view 2020 as the worst year ever… but to also be grateful for the good that came from it:

Sure, in 2020, I…

  • Didn't get to see my friends and family much, if at all

  • Spent most of my time inside my home with my wife and kids, maxing out our internet connection

  • Feared for the safety and future of my family, community, and humanity

  • Didn't travel anywhere outside of my home state

  • Was more uncertain about my career than ever before

  • Lost a friend, unable to join his family in person to mourn his death and celebrate his life

I have learned that I can't pretend these things are not significant. I need to feel the emotions that come from these life experiences and explore the impact they continue to have on me. I need to continue to talk about these with those I trust.

At the same time, I am now choosing to take my power back from these situations.

(Admittedly, this gets easier and easier every day.) Therefore, when I think about 2020, I am choosing to ALSO be grateful that:

  • I and my family still have our health (something I took for granted before 2020)

  • We still have a house to keep us warm during the winter months

  • My amazing wife hasn't chosen to divorce me, despite spending so much time at home with me and the kids :-)

  • I can still afford food, heat, health insurance, car payments, and Netflix

  • My kids seem to be handling this whole pandemic and remote learning better than I am

  • I have amazingly supportive friends and family

  • I am able to see firsthand how my kids interact with their classmates and teachers while learning

  • 99.9% of the people I see at the grocery story have their face coverings over both their mouth AND their nose

  • I am free to take walks outside whenever I choose

Millions of people are not fortunate enough to say these things are all true for them.

There is a need to make Space for both - the disappointment, the grief, the loss, the pain, the suffering, the angst … AND the appreciation, the joy, the sunlight, the love, the patience, the trust, the compassion, the beauty. In my head, heart, and soul, making Space for all this sometimes requires me to slow down and sacrifice a faster Pace. (What I have found though, is that a slower Pace does not always equate to less progress. Perhaps that is a topic for another post.)

Is it worth the sacrifice?

Right now, absolutely. What about three months from now? Maybe yes, maybe not. By then, who knows what my life and the world will be like. If I need to choose differently then, I will.

In closing, I'll repeat my invitation from above for you: "What if Space, Pace, and Place were sources of power for you to pull from vs. pressures of power over you?" We only get one life to live. Choose wisely how you live yours - how you spend your time and with whom you spend it.

As always, thank you for reading. Stay healthy. Take care of each other. I'd love to hear from you.

Copyright 2020 Matthew J. Wexler All Rights Reserved

All content and views shared here in this blog belong solely to the author and do not represent the perspective of any organization, employer or company.